Ambition

It's the beginning of January, which means spring semester for college students is just a couple of weeks away. I started on my journey for my master's degree this past fall, taking (and acing!) two courses. I'm ready to start two more shortly. If I continue at this pace, two courses a semester, I'll have my master's by May 2019. What's a girl to do once she earns her master's? Well, go on and get her doctorate, of course!

My thought had been once I finished my master's program, I might work for some time before pursuing my doctorate, but the more I think about it, the less I want to wait. Of course, life and circumstances always have a chance of changing things, but barring any stickiness and the general agreeability of my family, I plan to apply to doctoral programs in the not too distant future.

I'm looking at this as an opportunity for my family to do something and live somewhere we never have. I'm looking at this as a chance to do something totally different than anything I've done before. Yes, I've been a student many times over, but being in the thick of academia, immersing myself in topics and research, is something I haven't really had an opportunity to do before, and is something I know I would love to be able to do. I am a student at heart, a born researcher and life long learner.

The biggest question is: Where would we go? Well, there are a few factors that would go into this decision, the biggest one being where have I been accepted. I can't say that my I've set my sights low. I plan on applying to Johns Hopkins, Harvard, UPenn, and the University of Washington. These are all highly regarded universities with competitive Ph.D. programs. I'm a smart lady and I am currently kicking butt in my master's program and plan to continue to do so, but that doesn't automatically mean I'll be admitted into one of these schools.

My nerves about not being admitted aside, I am totally enthralled by the idea of studying and researching at one of these schools. All of them have amazing programs, history, and people attached to them and are located in parts of the country I would love to live in. I'm really keen on being part of a Ph.D. program because I like the idea of tackling big questions and moving deeper into issues surrounding education and how it works within society, and all of these schools offer programs that do just that.

My end goal with my Ph.D. is not to climb the ladder in our or any other school district. I don't have a strong inclination (at this point) toward taking over a leadership position. This, of course, could change, but for now I see myself working within a university or nonprofit, maybe someday going to Washington to help shape policy, or, better yet, opening a school to serve our area, where there is extremely limited choice of where you can send your children to school, particularly if you're low-income. If you know me in real life you know I have very strong feelings regarding how things are currently done in public schools. My mission, regardless of where I am in my career or studies, is to affect change. Considering my skill set and personality type, this path is probably one of the best ways for me to do this.

So, this is all a still few years off yet, as I mentioned. I have at least another two and a half years left in my master's program, and I also love my job. It's fun and fulfilling and just all around incredible. I'm extremely lucky to work where I do, doing what I do and I may decide to keep doing it long after I receive my Master's, saving this dream for a little later. But if it comes sooner or later, it's coming either way, and I can't wait to get started.

School Year, Here We Come!

Oh, the glorious last days of August. This year, by some miracle, the school year doesn't start for us until August 31st, with K-12 students returning September 1st (this is unheard of for me - I cannot remember a school year that started with a nine in all my years, except for maybe my freshman year of college). Being in adult education, we have a reprieve of a week, our students returning the day after Labor day, but we'll still be busy.

This is probably one of my favorite times of year. I look forward to the return to school like I do Christmas. New beginnings, new people, new things to do. I've had my fun, my freedom, but now it's time to buckle down and go to work, which means a new kind of fun.

This school year is particularly busy because three out of the four members of our little household will be in school. E. is starting the 2nd grade, something that is a bit of an unknown to us at the moment, as we haven't had the usual letter from the school or her teacher, who remains a mystery to us. And the hubs and I are both going back to school. I'm starting my master's in Adult and Higher Education, taking on two courses this fall. The hubs is (finally) starting his bachelor's degree, going the route of public administration. He's taking his first college course ever this fall, Introduction to Psychology. I cannot fully express my sheer delight in this new endeavor of his! I am immensely proud of him for taking this step, and I can't wait to be study buddies, even if he's not quite as excited about studying as I am.

So as this half of a week left before school starts carries on, I will fill it with last minute cleaning projects (I have a half completed list that I hope to get all the way completed by Monday), the buying and prepping of lunches, and putting together study guides for myself and the hubs. It'll be FUN!! (I keep telling myself this; if I say it enough times, it will be true, right?).

Here's to hoping everything gets done as and when it should, without bloodshed.   >:-D (This is meant to be a manic grin.)

Continental Drift

I feel like my life is like Pangea slowly shifting into the continents we know today. The changes come subtly, you hardly even notice them, but when you look at the map of life, things are so drastically different.

Kindergarten
I can't say I'm completely happy, but true to E.'s teacher's word, things took a turn for a better after February break. Mornings of agony have slowly dissipated and made room for eagerness and pleasure in all the new things E. has learned. I, of course, still have a great many issues regarding curriculum, various policies, and just a general malaise regarding what's to come in future years of school, but I've put it to bed as much as I can for now. E. is happy and that's all I could ask for...for now.

School, for me
Perhaps this is where you have the giant earthquake, the ground rumbling and rattling, volcanoes exploding, all in one quick rush. Just as suddenly as it began, it ends. The dust settles, a few species go extinct, and everything is totally different.

I've been hemming and hawing about what I was going to do with my future, feeling like I better you-know-what or get off the pot. (I think a lot of my fellow '11 grads are going through the same thing, or so my Facebook feed tells me.) I've always planned on getting my Master's, it was just a matter of...well, everything. I didn't know the when or where or what, or really even the how. After conversations with coworkers, my husband, and my mom, I decided two things.

One, I wanted a math certification. This came as a bit of a shock to me, as I never particularly enjoyed math in high school, but now, as an adult and since I've been teaching it a lot more lately, I feel like this is something a) I could competently do and b) enjoy doing. I've been told by a few people (and I realize they may have just been saying this to be supportive/nice) that my lack of enthusiasm regarding math when I was a teenager might be an asset as a math teacher.

Two, I still want to get my Master's. The thought process I'm following at the moment is that perhaps after I get my math cert I'll be teaching full time (hopefully with adult ed. - more on that in a bit) and the school district would be so kind as to pay for more courses. That said, I've also filled out a FAFSA form and submitted it. Later this spring I'll see what the financial aid gods have deigned to give me. If it's decent (i.e. not too many, if any, loans), I'll plan on taking courses this fall, likely a math and a graduate course. In the mean time, my district is paying for me to take a math course this summer, college algebra.

This all came about in less than a week, and while it's still not Grad School Far Away as I had been dreaming about, it feels good to be doing something specific that work towards my and my family's futures.

Food

I gave up sugar for Lent. I vaccilate between self-hatred for shouldering the burden of not getting to eat anything delicious for forty days and being immensely proud of myself for not eating anything delicious, despite cravings, grouchiness, some extra-long, frustrating days. Now that I'm about two weeks into it (with another three or so to go), things aren't so bad and I'm resigned to my plight. Do I fantasize about a huge bag of those crunchy, candy coated chocolate bags that Cadbury puts out this time of year? Yes, of course. But I'm surviving and haven't been driven mad for all the wanting and can't having. My hope, by the end of this trial of will and faith, that I will be able to more completely curb my appetite for sweet things as well as continue to make better choices about limiting pre-made sauces and other pre-packaged things that one wouldn't usually associate with sugar (Wasabi Peas? Really?!).

Work

Without going into too much detail (you know that's hard for me), because I could go on forever, things have shifted at work. I truly love my job. I like my students, I like my coworkers, and I like what I'm doing. I feel like I'm a part of the system, but I get to help remedy some of the issues I've begun to identify since I've stepped out of it as a student. (And by system, I don't mean the school system - I happen think we have a well-intended school district with compassionate and all-in-all good educators populating it. It's the modern American school system that needs the tremendous overhaul.)

Currently, I only teach two nights a week, and it's all very loosey goosey (which I rather like). Lately, those nights have been slow. Real slow. Which is okay, sometimes, but there's only so much busy work you can give yourself before you break out your knitting between helping your one or two students with math problems.

Finally, thankfully, we've had an influx of students and I finally have to actually teach something. I chose Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. Initially, I chose it because I knew I had a mostly written unit from English Methods back in college. But now that I've gone back and started to reread the book (my third foray into Alaska along side Chris McCandless) and have gone over the bits of that unit that survive, I feel like this is a great choice for an adult ed. student. There's a lot about taking the unconventional path in life, going against what's expected of you by others and by society, and being sure you really think about your choices, otherwise things may not go as planned.

Writing

While I haven't been blogging much (thinking about it a lot, just not doing it), I have been writing. I'm finally writing fiction again (this is where you hear me singing "reunited and it feels so goooooood!"). I'm about thirty pages into something that might just turn into Something. I don't know yet. A part of me would love to just put it all out there as I write it, like on Tumblr or something, just to see what happens, but another part of me wants to hold on to it until it's done, revised and perfect, and then slowly allow a few close friends to read it. I'd love to find a community of writers, either online or in real life, but I'm not sure where to begin.

And these are my continents. Formally tangled together and now drifting apart, seperate sections of my life that I couldn't quite pick apart and organize finally moving to their new places on my map. Of course, as with any kind of continental drift, they could easily move once more, or come slamming back into each other.