Got Patience?

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It's two miles, just about, from the bottom of my driveway to the end of our road and back. The girl was going to ride it all. It wasn't her goal or plan, it was just what happened.

As she peddled along, pumping her little legs, navigating our slightly treacherous road, I did my best to keep back, to watch,remember, and enjoy everything around me. I had to stop myself a few times, the words "hurry up" caught in my throat. Why did we need to hurry? There wasn't anywhere we needed to be, no urgency to our chores at home. We could, and should, take our time, because our world rushes by us too quickly anyhow.

I walked along, several feet behind her as she sped ahead and started to relax. I realized something important then. There didn't need to be a goal or a plan. She didn't have one, she just wanted to have fun. Why did I need to have one? We were just out for a walk and a bike ride. We didn't need to get it done. Nothing needed to be checked off a list. I wasn't going to have to report to someone else later and say, "On this date we went for a bike ride. We went this far. It took us this much time." Maybe after so many years of having to be accountable, having to document everything, having to have a rationale, it's hard for to just let something be. (Note: A lot of my behavior comes from being and education major for four years - we need a 12-step program once we leave and enter the "real" world.)

When you feel like you need to accomplish something every time you break out an activity with you kiddos it makes playing hard. Stuff that used to come so easily to me as a child now become stressful, unhappy tasks when I enter it with a mindset of: "Now, what will the end product be?" It's tough to remember that these games we play, crafts me make, things we do, aren't for me, they're for her. What's more, just as much I'm not being graded on how everything goes, neither is she. Not by me, not by anyone else. Whatever we're doing, it's for fun. If something larger comes out of it, awesome, but if not...awesome!

I've never been one to be a fan of the saying, "It's the journey, not the destination." I don't like cliches, for one, and for two, it's always clashed with how I've done things...but maybe I've been doing some things wrong. In parenting, in play, there is no distinct destination, and when you reach it there isn't some welcome celebration. You're kids are gone and while you might have labored all this time to help them arrive at adulthood, you don't get to enjoy it (at least not close up) - they do. That's why you make the most of the journey and worry less about the destination.